Shed your love

Sometimes, I wish I was straight. Like, things could so much easier right? I wouldn't have to worry about offending anyone because of my sexual orientation, not that I currently do anyway. The girl I
'm...dating for lack of a better word, isn't even out to anyone. Well, I take that back. I think she is to one person, and me obviously. Even then, she's bi. Now, I'm not an insecure person. I'm not even a jealous person. But she has this way of making me everything, I said I'm not. Like on New Year's Eve when she was at a party...I happened to not be at, she kissed a guy and he ended up in her bed. She flirts with guys right in front of me! It really worries me, that I like her so much, yet she kinda sorta treats me like shit. No sugarcoating it, thats how it goes. Like, she's just here for the ride. Making me doubt myself all the time. She says she doesn't like labels. Labels like "bi", "lesbian", "gay", "straight". "boyfriend", "girlfriend" and yet, thats the only way to commit yourself to each other. Otherwise, she'd be a hook-up. I always have people, girls and boys, message me, or call me. I shut them down. She doesn't. And that worries me. Quite ridiculous really. And you say, let her go. Why put up with that sort of craziness? And in my mind, my voice of reason, says "Yes, let her go. Don't put up with that load of bollocks." And then my heart, overrides that voice of reason and won't let me. There's nothing particularly spectacular about this girl. Just an ordinary college going girl who I happen to fall for.