Brusied

I don't know why I continue being so stupid. I should have listened to people. And now this is what I get. Fucking heartbreak. Right before Valentine's Day. And my birthday. What a wonderful birthday present. You know what, who needs relationships. I'm just going to become a nun.

Shed your love

Sometimes, I wish I was straight. Like, things could so much easier right? I wouldn't have to worry about offending anyone because of my sexual orientation, not that I currently do anyway. The girl I
'm...dating for lack of a better word, isn't even out to anyone. Well, I take that back. I think she is to one person, and me obviously. Even then, she's bi. Now, I'm not an insecure person. I'm not even a jealous person. But she has this way of making me everything, I said I'm not. Like on New Year's Eve when she was at a party...I happened to not be at, she kissed a guy and he ended up in her bed. She flirts with guys right in front of me! It really worries me, that I like her so much, yet she kinda sorta treats me like shit. No sugarcoating it, thats how it goes. Like, she's just here for the ride. Making me doubt myself all the time. She says she doesn't like labels. Labels like "bi", "lesbian", "gay", "straight". "boyfriend", "girlfriend" and yet, thats the only way to commit yourself to each other. Otherwise, she'd be a hook-up. I always have people, girls and boys, message me, or call me. I shut them down. She doesn't. And that worries me. Quite ridiculous really. And you say, let her go. Why put up with that sort of craziness? And in my mind, my voice of reason, says "Yes, let her go. Don't put up with that load of bollocks." And then my heart, overrides that voice of reason and won't let me. There's nothing particularly spectacular about this girl. Just an ordinary college going girl who I happen to fall for.

Late Night TV movie marathons

I have come to the conclusion my sleeping pattern is wildly erratic. Especially with cold season, and me not getting sick usually, I'm up later than usual. All weekend I have procrastinated, doing home instead sleeping to a ripe 3 in the afternoon! And look where it's gotten me...now it's 3 in the morning and I'm wide awake. In efforts to make myself sleepy, I lay on the couch watching TV for about 3 hours. The latter two of which I watched Max Payne. I do enjoy good action movies, and this one was alright. Actually, no in retrospect it was quite awful and horribly cliche. And it all goes back to, the military. There's always some secret agenda there, some hidden products experiments and testing they do on people involved in the military. And countless movies have portrayed the military and its secret government projects as villains. It will be the downfall of society as we know it. And what is with cutting off the ending so that we don't get to find out what happens? As Mark Whalberg kneels on the edge of the roof, full of bullet holes as the SWAT team comes tearing up the stairs..Movies are awful these days, everything has been done and there is absolutely no creativity left. I've yet to see any new movie with a smidgen of originality. And if I'm going to spend about 50 dollars at the movie theaters plus another 10 for gas, I expect the movie to be well worth my while!
Speaking of gas prices, people were all excited when the prices dropped. Has anyone noticed the prices beginning to creep back up again? I sure have, and this summer, all I'll be able to do is drive to work! It's quite ridiculous. Now if the public transportation system in the tri-cities was the least bit efficient I wouldn't mind taking the bus. As it were, it really sucks. And notice all the creepy people who ride the transit. Not to mention the bus comes by only once every hour, and it takes anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half to get anywhere. Talk about inconvience! In any case, I'm not complaining. I suppose it could be loads worse, we could be one of those third world countries that don't have running water and women can't go to school...